you're a mother now. no time to sit on your laurels. that baby's not going to care if you're an astrophysicist or an executive (i'm not going to say janitor here. why do people all pick on the janitors?). they're going to care how much you can love them, feed them, and keep them clean until they're aware enough to resent you for everything you've ever been. that's the time to fish out those crushed, burned Greek leaves and show them that you were someone before they came along but that you became human enough to love and feed and clean them. then, they'll respect you. not for the sacrifice you've made but for the knowledge that they, too, will make it to a place that nothing will matter except the small spark of humanity they carry from your example.
don't ever use exclamation points, they told me. if it's important/moving/insert-exclamation-inspiring, the reader will get it without the use of "excessive punctuation"! what, if in the course of writing i have actually worn down the barriers of fiction enough to feel as the character does (what are these little bubbles in which the "real" writers entrap their characters so as not to feel the passion or dismay that they feel?) and cannot help my fingers shaping or typing that little shifted 1? yeah, you're right. that was too flowery. thanks for the heads-up advice!
i smell dangerous. not that kind of radical danger you get from being truly alive, but the kind that lurks around corners, waiting in surprise attack to take everything that is beautiful and important to you. the kind tainted by sewers and dumpsters and inhuman acts and old ladies' closets. if you run around in this life like that you're bound to pick up a foul odor or two. they still haven't made it so that you come out smelling rose- or clean-towel-fresh. even if you sit still and try to do nothing, good or bad, you end up smelling like old socks. no, you have to do something. fresh, and alive, and clean, in the right location. somewhere bright where people like me don't rub off on you. of course, they keep the doors to this place locked up very tight. if they let too many people in, it starts to smell because of them. not very good. and clean, smart, beautiful people have to have their space to do their special thing. the thing that starts inside all of us until we start picking up the danger. if i keep writing, will i smell Chanel? i doubt it. they who are clean and smart and beautiful will collect me from my pretty path and spray me with their net offal. after all, they're exposed to it, too. they just know better what to do with it. so, my beauty dies and i no longer smell Dangerous. i don't smell. and that means no one can find me to notice me. i might as well have died, but they are not that kind, so I keep running around, invisible, until i smell dangerous. 7:44 AM 3/25/2015
It's okay, little -girl-. Yes, you, the little girl hiding inside away from the pile of adult things threatening to topple over and bury you. I love you. I know you're still in there, just hoping that you will get to take over and make my life what it was meant to be. I'm sorry I don't give you enough time, enough air to breathe. Please help me wade through the junk together with God's Spirit to our true purpose, because I know you're the only one who can see me through this time and through to the right side of our lives. Thanks! //edit I know it's my "fault" we're in this mess. Please help me to make better decisions!
#WorldPoetryDay
No free cups of coffee, but a silly poem to compliment the serious one on FB:
On a street corner in Siam
I have never been
But oh, the tales I could tell
From my imagination
The most I know of Siam
There are pretty cats
But on the Internet I researched
They do make pretty hats
I hope my travels lead to Siam
Some day before I die
To bring together knowledge and thought
In senses in the eye
They address issues like this but poorly advise students from an official capacity so that the below means nothing for them since they can't successfully progress in classes through no fault of their own. I also wonder when access will expire and if they will warn those for whom access will expire early enough to backup (if they are not savvy enough to know this on their own) the vast amounts of data they can store on such a benefit so that they do not lose it.
https://itnews.iu.edu/articles/2015/no-limits-box-at-iu-removes-storage-quotas.php
No limits: Box at IU removes storage quotas
Since April 2012, the IU Box service has provided a simple, secure way to share and store files and folders online. You can create files and folders, share them using a direct link, invite others to collaborate, and continue to revise and review your content.
This change to unlimited storage is in line with IU’s "Philosophy of Abundance" stance on technology, which strives for the easy availability of IT services to enhance the teaching, learning, and research missions of the university. In the same spirit, IU is currently putting in place infrastructure upgrades to offer unlimited storage on Exchange email accounts. Look for an announcement this summer.
"We are happy to give faculty, staff and students access to leading-edge collaboration technologies without the constraints imposed by quotas, whether that is with cloud services like Box or environments we manage at IU like Exchange," said Dennis Cromwell, IU associate vice president of client services and support. "Improving the tech experience at IU is always one of our top goals, and we think our 80,000 active Box users will appreciate the change."
Storage is unlimited, but file size is not – 15GB remains the largest file size allowed. That is immense, considering 1GB holds about 16 hours of music or nearly 600 photos. If you’re feeling constrained, know that you can now store as many 15GB files as you like.
Bob Flynn, Box at IU project manager, is excited about the possibilities for IU departments. "Large quotas are a frequent request for researchers and for departments looking to retire file servers," he said. "Box is now unlimited storage at no additional cost to them. They can store as much of their work product and personal data as they want there. It’s safe, it’s backed up, and now there’s no limit."
http://www.studentartguide.com/articles/how-to-stop-procrastinating
http://r.search.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0LEV7hBbQBVIxIAbyIlnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTBybnV2cXQwBHNlYwNzcgRwb3MDMgRjb2xvA2JmMQR2dGlkAw--/RV=2/RE=1426120130/RO=10/RU=http%3a%2f%2fmanagement.about.com%2fod%2fprojectmanagement%2fht%2fGet-Your-Project-Done-On-Time.htm/RK=0/RS=z3XEqP5madE5chxWD307rK7.gc4-
http://painting.about.com/u/ua/paintingforbeginners/how-long-complete-painting.htm
i have a sickness of wanting to cure my ails by reading very good books (and occasionally just those that sound good).
one of the ways i think would be better is to make changes, but i get stuck. i also wonder to what to change.
if i decide to go another way and it is not the right way, how many course corrections can i make before i run out of energy? (skipping the obvious thought that the change might bring about something else that does not work)
i have started with vast amounts of what i and others consider to be very good preparation, and i have started with no preparation at all, just to get started, and the spectrum between, but i seem to run the same circuit back to square one in many things.
http://www.bartleby.com/95/28.html
"Mental effort is one thing that the younger generation of the “smart
world” seems to consider it unreasonable to ask—and just as it is the
fashion to let their spines droop until they suggest nothing so much as
Tenniel’s drawing in Alice in Wonderland of the caterpillar sitting on
the toad-stool—so do they let their mental faculties relax, slump and
atrophy."
The world makes no sense to me. I know it makes enough sense that I am still here, but people with money make it so that people who don't have any don't understand them.
For example, what the hell is this article saying? If anything?
Welcome: people who will make a point
Very welcome: people who will make a point about what I'm actually discussing instead of arguing semantics or my approach (I like discussing that, but why don't we not forget that I asked a question and at least address that among topics like I don't even know what I'm talking about?)
